The Schuyler Blanket Project

bringing comfort to bereaved parents one square at a time

The Future of the SBP May 16, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — schuylersmama @ 11:05 am

Hi, everyone.
I’ve been getting more requests for blankets lately. Before I respond to the requests, I want to have a serious think about the future of this project.

It has seemed that the Schuyler Blanket Project has been dying a slow death over the last couple of years. I think a lot of the blame is my own. I’ve been dealing with a lot over the last year or two and I’ve really dropped the ball here. I haven’t made a lot of noise over it, but my husband and I are divorcing. It’s been a long time coming and I think I’ve let other priorities slide as I’ve dealt with that. I’ve been very irresponsible about sending out packages, contacting sponsors, and keeping the blog and Facebook pages active. This is not the vision I had for this project and I apologize from the bottom of my heart.

When the original founders of this group and I first started off, we wanted to reach as many families as we could from as many places in the world as we could. We had hoped to have a very large number of people contributing to each blanket so that the parents would see how many people care about their loss. Losing a child is very isolating. Even almost four years later, there are days when I feel completely alone. I have been so fortunate to have a large support system to lean on when these days arrive. Not everyone is so lucky. Our blankets were meant to represent a big, warm hug from lots of people to show grieving parents that, while many people don’t understand their loss, their child will not be forgotten.

Our goal was never speed. The loss of a child lasts a lifetime. I lost my dad almost 20 years ago. I still miss him and I still think about him. However, I will honestly admit that it is not nearly so painful as having lost my daughter. I hope when she has been gone for 20 years, someone will still call me on her birthday and ask how I’m doing. Sometimes, those calls that comes weeks, months, and years later make a huge difference. This is why I was never concerned with churning out blankets quickly. I was always more focused on blanket being as personalized as possible. One of our members has made over a hundred squares for us! While her work is so very much appreciated, if all of the blankets were to be made exclusively with her squares, it would be clear that only one person was truly contributing.This goes against the vision for the group and is another reason why I am considering the end of the project. It just doesn’t feel as meaningful to me.
I do not want to see this project end. It has been such an important part of my own therapy and I have heard from several of the recipients of blankets. I know they greatly appreciate all of the hard work and love that went into them. Since you are all vital to the life of this project, I’d like your input. What happens now? We have several blankets still in the queue. I have a few requests that I have not responded to yet. I need to know what to tell them, but I cannot do it alone. Please take a moment to respond with any comments or suggestions you might have regarding the future of this project. Thank you.

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9 Responses to “The Future of the SBP”

  1. Heather grein Says:

    i love what you do… you bring so much comfort to so many people…. i hope the project stays alive….. but i totally understand that in life things happen that make it hard to keep going

  2. Pat Says:

    I have not made as many squares as I could have, because I have not seen information on creating squares for blankets. I am willing to make squares, but do not always think to go to the site. If information were always sent to our emails, I think more people would participate routinely,, I know I would.

  3. Kate Says:

    To be honest, I was a bigger part of the SBP a few years ago. While I did not lose a child to death, I had an adoption placement fall through 4 years ago, and being a part of SBP was very healing for me. But, it got to be overwhelming. I felt like I wanted to (not that I was compelled to!) contribute to ALL TEH BLANKETS!, but with both working and homeschooling my son, there was just too much going on, and so I let my participation dwindle down to nothing.
    I am now in a position where I am able to help on a more regular basis, and would love to do so. But yes, I agree, it can’t be done by just one person, nor even a handful. I hope that the project continues, but will understand if it needs to be put aside.

  4. Jan Wilcox Says:

    I would be willing to send squares. I belong to another group doing the same thing only with 6 inch squares. It brings a lot of comfort to the families and I agree we need the work of many in the blankets.. The other group has a facebook group and makes it easier for me to keep track of what is going on as I check it daily.

  5. my3pandas@aol.com Says:

    I’m sorry to hear about all going on in your life-will keep you in my prayers. I would hate to see this project end-I think it is very worthwhile.I’m sorry I haven’t contributed squares in a while.Sometimes,life gets busy and one area gets neglected while trying to handle other areas.However,I would be happy to start sending some squares again. Ann

  6. Christina Says:

    I am praying for you as you go through this hard time. I have been interested in this project, but have fallen through on carrying through with what I have pledged, so I apologize for that. I would love to see it continue, and I would be willing to send squares. It seems to me that the ideas about sending updates regularly by email or on a Facebook page are good; people will be more likely to see such updates. ~Christina

  7. Ardis Roseberry Says:

    I am so sorry for your losses, both your daughter & your marriage. In my opinion, for this group to continue, I think several need to come forward & commit to the mission & take it over for you. I am not that person, although if I lived closer, I would definitley be tempted. In the meantime since I last knit squares for SBP, I have found a local charity that I’m working w/, volunteering time & knitting effort such that I don’t see making SBP squares in the near future. Like all of us, my stash & WIP’s has grown since I first learned of & knitted for SBP. If you have the time & this fills a need for you & is something you want to do, by all means continue; if you’ve burned out & need to move on & no one else steps up to take charge, then let it go knowing you did a wonderful job & helped the many who received blankets under your guidance. Thank you for your dedication, time & talent!

  8. I’m still able to make squares and am honored to do so. Let me know.

  9. Jackie B Says:

    I was so excited to find this blanket project after I lost my little boy, Jackson November 20, 2012 (this wednesday 5/22/12 would have been his EDD). I think it’s such a wonderful idea, but if you can’t keep up with it anymore I understand…Life comes first. Jan Wilcox, what is the other blanket group you belong to?


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